As we move toward 2021, we know that the typical thing is to do our “New Year’s Resolutions.” After 2020, we have a whole new list:
Stop doom scrolling on Twitter.
Live my best life and only buy pants with no buttons or zippers.
Sign up for a marathon but don’t actually run.
Remember to make overnight oats the night before even though I know I won’t want to eat them in the morning.
Go on a vitamin and supplement shopping spree and finish at least one bottle before giving up.
Make a viral reel making fun of TikTok.
Unfriend every person who shares their unsolicited diet or exercise regimen.
Do so much yoga that it actually justifies wearing yoga pants 24/7.
Read more (or at least turn the subtitles on while binge-watching TV).
Don’t text that toxic person back. You know the one. We all have one.
Eat more tacos.
Stay in the bathroom while brushing my teeth.
Stop drinking orange juice after I’ve brushed my teeth.
Stop daring people to lick frozen flagpoles.
Floss every day — and not just with wild abandon in the week leading up to a cleaning.
Stop lying to myself about following New Year’s resolutions.
Stop making resolutions.
And last but not least – find all the left over 2020 calendars and burn them!
